Bitcoin hit $100,000. What’s next?

Bitcoin’s hit $100,000. Congrats on the money, everyone!

It’s challenging to discern what’s on the horizon for crypto after this big round number, given the well-known and glaring problems with trying to figure out how much a bitcoin should be worth.

The CFA Institute has a guide through four valuation options: Total Addressable Market (what if every money user switches to bitcoin); Stock-to-Flow method (pretend scarcity always creates value); Metcalfe’s law (bitcoin is a social network); and the Cost of Production model (bitcoin is a derivative of electricity and computing-power costs).

They’re all boring, though. And they fail to capture the spirits animated when any number climbs to six figures from five.

This bitcoin milestone calls for a different method of analysis. One that’s more arcane, and probably equally reliable.

It was first developed in Renaissance Europe, saw a resurgence — or even a revolution — during the 18th century that created many esoteric offshoots still used today. After some diligent reporting, we chose to use the original Rider-Waite method, because it has withstood the test of time (and also is no longer under copyright).

That’s right: It’s cartomancy.

We went to a free online tarot site and hit a button, and picked the second set of results because they were funny. Here we go!

Draw one, representing Bitcoin’s past: The Three of Wands

The three of wands can mean expansion, progress, adventure and “overseas opportunities”.

Draw two, representing Bitcoin’s present: The Ten of Swords, reversed

This is a tricky one! On one hand, whatever is the opposite of getting stabbed with 10 swords should be good, right?

On the other: We found descriptions including “short-term gains”, “gullibility”, and “resisting an inevitable end”.

Science.HowStuffWorks.com, which for unknown reasons has a robust tarot card section, says it addresses the “danger of denial” and the “allure of the victim mentality”.

Draw three, representing bitcoin’s future: The Knight of Pentacles

One take on this card: “Hard work, productivity, routine, conservatism.”

Another: “Hardworking young man with a traditional, orthodox outlook. Utility. An honest, responsible person. Solid progress. Methodical approach to large goals. Financial consultant. Commitment, perseverance, and stamina. A dependable man, if considered a little dull.”

Looks like institutionalisation is in the cards!